Gearheads of War

There was this Senior girl who took an interest in me (which got me interested) that I met in gym class the first semester this year (10th grade).  She was beautiful, nice, funny, and smart.  Everything I could ask for.  The flirting kept going on and our interests in eachother got to the point where it was clear that this was the time to act and ask her out.

Well, what did I do?  Absolutely nothing.  Every time I got up the courage, the plan to make my move, I just totally wimped out.  There was just this intimidating factor blocking me; she's older than me.  So, the semester ended and I thought, "well, that's over I guess".  But I was wrong.  Though I thought everything was over, she pursued further - smiling, waving, and saying hi in the hallways whenever (and I mean everytime) we crossed paths.  Even during class a couple times this happened.  For instance, when her group came to the various PAWS (a study hall of sorts we have at a set time every day; basically just another period that happens to be a study hall that everyone has) classes to talk about their Senior Project she did it (which I got somewhat embarrassed at because here's this hot, popular, Senior chick smiling at me and whatnot - the embarrassing part being most of the class turned and looked).

Anywho, fast forward about two months of this going on continuously and you hit March.  About mid-month was our Spring Break, and that marked the turning point.  There was no more smiling, no more waving, no more saying hello to.  I attempted to after that, but she more or less ignored me.  It was the biggest slap in the face.  There was the occassional look or deep exasperrated sigh (obvious, much?) as we walked by eachother by her, but that was it.

Fast forward to the end of the year and I'm an absolute wreck.  She's leaving, and not only did I feel I missed the biggest opportunity for happiness during my Sophmore year of school, but she fucking hated me now.  My failure to act and failure to ask her out really hurt her.

I'm over the fact that she's gone and I never got a chance to say goodbye, but what I'm not over is the fact that I hurt her feelings like that.  I never intended to hurt someone I cared about so much, but I did.

So basically my advice to you is to just either let her do her own thing and "figure out who she wants", or just pursue her more; try to get her interested in you again.

Just don't make the same mistake I did and let her go.  Don't be like me.

And for reference: Kara